June 26, 2003
June 26th 2003

Good lord! Help me now! I just wanna go home and SLEEP! I, like BML hate my job. But I don’t wanna talk about that at the moment…. It’s just too bad.

Well I did end up seeing my B on Friday, and what a damn fine tanned man he’s is! I was all excited to see him and stuff, so I left work on Friday evening and I was like oh god, gotta go home gotta do my hair gotta wear this gotta do that, gotta get some nice knickers that tie at the sides! And do you know what the funny thing is? We weren’t even goin’ anywhere! We were gonna just stay in and chill.

Friday 5.45pm I’m running about town like a mad woman, hair EVERYWHERE! Carrying about 20 bags and looking like a damned bag lady! I always have this way of stressing myself out when I’m shopping and there’s no need for me to do that! And I always bump into people looking like a complete and utter state….yip, guess who I bumped in to, Benjamin, well I nearly ran right past him cuz I was trying to catch my bus home. I’ve never felt so embarrsaced in my life! Turns out he was having a nice lesiurly day with his friend…alright for some. I half expected him to introduce me to his friend like this.

This is m crazy girlfriend J….she doesn’t usually look so bad….

I eventually got home. Showered, shaved my legs and whilst doing that managed to cut out a huge big chunk of skin…OK was it wasn’t that bad but it sure as hell bleed for ages. Flat mate was kind enough to let me borrow her ceramic straightners! GOD DAMN! WOO WOO! There’re amazing! And I have to say that my hair looked pretty damn amazing too!

So, it turns out that he had an awesome time, got looked after by a friend of a friend and met loads of really cool people (no I’m not jealous…grr) and now he’s come back with the idea that he wants to buy a nice wee pad in Barcelona. I can’t say no to that!

I got presents! B got me the coolest pair of shoes, wedge sandal thingies…I can’t describe them but trust me the look good! I got the cutest new belly button shield, it a flower of some sort…I can’t describe it but trust me it looks good, a bag….and….OMG how do I say this….um…I might of said before B is really quite good at picking stuff out for me,….he knows what I like and he knows my sizes etc,….and he’s never ever gotten it wrong…..so when I pulled out this hideous, blue vest top thing that should have been worn by the likes of some trailer trash whore I was MORTIFIED! I have never ever EVER seen anything look so tarty! And B should know by now that I don’t wear tarty clothes! OMG! And the worst thing is…..is that I LIED! I was like darlin’ it’s lovely! I love it! (Damn me!). I’m still quite shocked….I dunno what he was thinking, but in a way it’s funny!

I blame his mate; B would never have picked it otherwise…

Any ho’ got some take out in and it was really good to have him back, we watched 5 minutes of Blade 2 which I HATED!

I went to see Bon Jovi on Sunday at the Ibrox Stadium! They were absolutely AMAZING! I would have gone to see them perform one song and that would be Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night. So I was a really happy girl when that came on.

I still wish I went to see Eminem…I was so jealous of my 4 flat mates… I was the only one in the flat on Tuesday night. The envy is pouring out of me….

Monday and Tuesday were just bad days and I just couldn’t be arsed with anything! I hate working for the Chief Executive! I wish he would take a holiday as well!

I’m quite proud of me! I’ve been going to the gym a minimum of 3 times a week now and I actually enjoy it! Woo hoo!

But I have to admit I did a bitch a work out on Tuesday! I go t o the gym after work; I don’t get home till about 9pm. When I get in I’m still buzzing and therefore I can’t get to sleep! And I hate it! I woke up yesterday all dizzy and nauseous, my body was in agony and I was so close to calling in sick, but I didn’t, because I’m good worker and I put up with a lot of crap…OK I had to go in because there would be no one to look after the office otherwise….joy.

So my day was tough, so much to do so little time…..I couldn’t keep my eyes open, I was majorly uncoordinated….and it was hot and stuffy and I just felt like crying, I just felt so ill. I kept thinking as soon as I get home I’m gonna go straight to bed and get me some sleep.

I thought I’d check up to see what B was doin and he said that he was goin to a wine tasting and we could hook up around 10pm and I thought perfect, I can go home, shower and get a couple of hours sleep... and thinking about that was…I can’t explain it, it was a good feeling until I got asked to go to this wine tasting thing…why the hell did I say yes?

PANICK! What do I wear to a freaking wine tasting!?! And what the hell do I know about wine? Who am I kidding? I buy wine outta Victoria Wine and only the bottles that look nice….

So I got my self together, had shower, did hair and picked out smart trousers (satin) and a red kimono type top that took 20 minutes to pick that out….re-did make-up and I have to say I looked OK considering I only had under 60 minutes!!!

Got taxi up to met Ben and his mates and the first thing he said to me was…

You look special….

Which was nice to hear, but in comparison to what he was wearing….jeans, blue T shirt and a zip up top, I looked freaking OVERDRESSED! (Damn me AGAIN!). He’s friends looked all casual as well….damn it! And he had been out 2.30 enjoying the sun….drinkin’…

Meh heh heh! I fitted in quite well with the other people at the wine tasting! There were a bunch of posh folk about and B could help but imitate them and I swear he got a few dirty looks! Lol! It didn’t help that we were 30 minutes late either! It was soooo boring and B but me at ease saying that Wine should be down to personal taste and most of the people in that room wouldn’t know a good bottle of wine from their arse and that they pretend to know everything there is to know and they’re just spraffing bull shit!

So that was fun…not. Well it was in a little way it was, I can’t say no to free drink.

We then went to a Jazz bar where one of B’s friend’s Girlfriend was singing, she was good! But she didn’t seem to think so….I guess she’s quite critical of herself…It was good, I wish I could be able to stand up and sing so well in front of people…I admire that.

I like B’s friends, I met on girl called Jen and he was like it’s so good to finally meet you….I couldn’t help but think well B’s never mentioned you, but hey….

We got home (Bs) about 1.30am, his flat mate is in hospital and we ha the place to ourselves and we could have had any room we wanted, but the hall was good enough! For all the neigbours to hear and everything! Lol! 2.35am he was still buzzing and I was really beginning to wind down.

You know how you can sense a change in people sometimes and you don’t know why? We since B’s been back, I feel that he’s been acting differently with me…in a good way, like he wants me to be more involved with his life, the thing is that I can’t quite put my finger on it and…ah forget it! I love it! And that’s what matters.

So, I’m meeting the BML tomorrow night? Me can’t wait!

I invited my friend Laura along, hadn’t seen her in months, simply because she’s been spending so much time with her boyfriend Bob, and she’s basically forgetting who her friends are…at the end of the day it breaks down like this: She can’t complain that he never goes out – simply because she doesn’t phone people or bother to stay in contact, she’s gonna end up with just her boyfriend…shame really….

But hey, at least David is coming’ along….so I hope….have you got the impression that I don’t have the most reliable friends….

yesterday - foreverdiv>