2002-05-21
Thoughts on Families

well here i am again, with not alot to do... -which gives me plenty of time to think.

So whats been on my mind?

Families.

I don't have a normal one.

But then again.... what exactly is normal?

You see the thing is, I left home over 2 months ago after a HUGE big argument a with my folks, stuff like school and going out and money, that kind stuff. I know everybody’s parents argue like that, but, mine are extreme! They drove me to absolute MADNESS!!!!

They can't accept that I grow up in a society and culture which is very much different to theirs, they want me to be this typical Ethiopian girl who doesn't answer back, who stu0dies day and night.... blah blah blah. Who respects their parents....

Respect parents...? WHATEVER!

RESPECTS NOT GIVEN ITS EARNED! (Thanks for that Michael Jackson)

I mean come on. With the constant put downs I've had to put up with since the age of 9.... Always feeling that I’m not good enough.

I thinks the main problem is between me and my dad. I know that he love me and everything, but the man has one hell of a funny way of showing it.

I know that that he loves me to bits and I know he would do anything for me if it ever came to it, dad is a very over protective man.

But, the thing is, he doesn't speak to me the way a father should speak to his daughter. I always feel like I’m treated like a total stranger when he speaks to me. He can be very cold towards me, and the tone of voice he uses is not very inviting, if you know what I mean.

I don't feel that I can go to him for any advice, as I feel that he is going to get all angry at me and stuff. And when this happens it gets very personal and goes totally off subject. He'll start insulting me and then I’ll start insulting him back and it just really builds up. And gets totally out of hand!!! no points for guessing what i'm trying to say....

Part of me feels that I wish I haven't left home. I love my mum and dad, especially my little brother and my sisters. But you know being 18 years old I would of had to move out sometime soon.

But not under the circumstances that I had to.

may be its really strange to say this, but, I don’t think I love my dad any more.

yesterday - foreverdiv>